haha. jeeze im weird. But yea. Im sorry i havnt written in like ages, but computer is so messed up right now. and so am i. okay, so my grandpa died. i dont think it has hit me yet. im still like not sad about it. i thought about it a lot today...telling myself that there will never be a grandpa ever again. i dont know. my best friend could perhaps be dieing. i know when i even think about it, i am like about to cry. she has an infection on her leg. it spread to the other one. the doctors say that she could die from it. fuckkkkk. and the thing is, im like perfectly fine. u'd think that all id really do at this point is sit in my room like balling and feeling sorry for myself...but im not. i have a guy to thank for that. last night i told him that i wasnt doing that great...cuz i really wasnt...and my grandpa was still alive then...he died tpday at 2 o'clock in the morning. but anyways. i told him something was wrong..and he just said im calling you. (oh ya and by the way this whole conversation was online) so he called me and we talked for like 2 hours. its amazing the way a guy can make you feel so much better. but then again so much worse. he just called me. we arent hanging out tonight. he really wanted me to come but i couldnt cuz i didnt have a ride, because my mom is in san diego straitening things out with my grandpa. fuck. im so into this guy. i dont know what im gonna do. ggrrrr this suxxxxxxxx im bored and i need to have fun tonight. i need to see him.