I somehow have a tendancy to go into somewhat of a slump. The only thing is, I'm not so sure of whether or not it's just self pitty or just plain and simple reality. As of now, all I want to do is go home (I'm at school in my mom's classroom) and crawl into my bed and never come out. I could still be ruthless. I could just forget about everything that has ever happend since I stepped foot into high school, but then again, high school has been a place of experience. All it's been about is experiencing the new and the old. But to be perfectly honest, high school has changed me. It has turned me into and bitter and synical person with no reason to wake up in the morning. Just last year, I remember waking up and wanting to go to school, just to see one single person. But to be perfectly honest, who needs a boy to make them happy? What kind of a person am I to not be happy just because of an absense of a male figure in my life? That definatly tells me something. I can tell that for a while, I'll just have to look around me and see what I have, not what I lack. I like random entries where I just rample about pointless things. Well, not really. Stupid of me to turn my back on something that COULD have been something. Don't ask. But then again, I'm not sure if thats what I wanted. It just tells me something that we are to the point that after random stuff happening, things aren't weird. At all. Who knows. I just want a hug damnit. ~Amanda