Show yesterday was awesome. Day one of seduction is over. haha. Stace and I were talking and she was telling that there was something about guys and dancers. She said that it makes em go crazy. Hmm. Marisa said whenevr shed look over at him he'd be staring right at me. haha. That made my day, even tho there was tension between us at my house, i think everything was all good. Im glad he came to my show. Oh and his mom! Man, she's the best. When i saw her she gave me a big hug and told me she missed me. Made me sad, because I miss her and certain someone else in relation to her also. It was hard seeing Colin again. At first when I saw hI was like oh whatever, I'm moving on. Then after spending some time around him and looking at him, I realized how much it sucks that things are like this. He was sitting there on my couch...and I noticed something. He was sitting there exactly the way he used to sit on the Israel's couch, except this time I wasn't by his side. He's changed a lot,he has this new found sarcasric humor. Weird. But I think I can do this. I'm surviving...I just gotta keep my chin up and hope for the best. He told me that he wanted me to be happy, even if it would make him unhappy for me to be happy. That boy cares a lot, but sometimes he doesn't realize what an affect he has had on me. Maybe someday he will realize what he's without, because I definatly know what IM without. leaving for tahoe tommorow. sooo excited. eh, for a while i've been kinda whatev about tyler, but now, thinking aboyt the last time i saw him, ohhh damn. I get to see the look in his forever blue eyes he gives me, his melt my heart away half smile...and just him. Oh yes. I remember last time i was there, holy shit. Best day of my life when I met that kid. I remember how fucking hott I thought he was. wowww cant be more excited. hella. haha x0x0 Amanda "havnt you heard that I'm gonna be okay?" i need to find some new shoes...