I have been doing quite a bit analyzing lately. And I've come to conclusions that satisfy me. So. My reality is exactly what I perceived it to be. But it really wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I'm actually glad this is happening. Sound weird, right? Well, wrong. I honestly don't think I feel for him anymore. Maybe if someone dug deep down inside...they might find a fraction of some leftover feelings, I think. I don't really know WHAT I feel about him anymore, but I think thats it, but with a lot of added bitterness tailgating as well. I've concluded that they both aren't the most attractive people in the world, and they both aren't very nice people, and they both think they are the ultimate shit...so I think they match very well together. Good for them. Oh yea...and after a week she gave him what he wanted...what a slut. It took her a week! Dude, it took me three months. Ew. I'm pretty grossed out. But hey! I guess he found his soul mate. ahahaha. Sorry, I just crack myself up. As of us being friends? Well, I don't want a friendship from him. It would complicate things way too much and Alyssa would be even more of a bitch. Plus he would be lucky to have a friend like me. :) ha. So I guess he doesn't deserve that or me. So basicaly, he was just a happy point in my life and I think thats why I've been hanging on to him. But I'm starting to enjoy things a lot more, especially my friends. God. I love my friends. Especially the girls I was at the football game w/ yesterday. I'm really glad we are all starting to hang out, they are all awesome people in their own individual ways. The boy issue? Uhhh....lets just say that needs work. I think I just need some confidence back. But hey, when something happends I know it will come when I least expect it, but for right now...I'll leave that to dreamland. x0x0 Amanda