My mind has exploded, and I'm trying to figure out how to put it back together. I honestly don't know what I feel right now. I don't know if I'm strong or just plain numb. In the midst of all this, I have a little voice inside myself chuckling and giving a high five. All because I have never ever felt so good for bitching at someone. Ever. He feels like shit for everything, and he better. He deserves to feel like shit. He used me, and I was just a piece of ass. I even got him to admit it. I just can't get over how proud of myself I am. The things I said were everything he deserved, and I got it out. All in 5 mintues of a conversation. "You are a fucking piece of shit. I know was just a piece of ass to you, I'm not stupid. All I ever was to you was a girl with a mouth and you were a boy with a dick." Thats just part of it. "You know what I need to watch out for guys like you" "You were such a waste of my time." (jeremy putting his hand on my leg) "Get your fucking hand off of me." Thats part of it, to say the least. I just felt like an idiot walking back on the dance floor, in no mood for dancing, finding Julie and Emily and end up balling. The thing is, Colin came right up to me and gave me a big hug and told me that I didn't deserve this. I miss that boy, as a friend. He's just one of those people that will always have a half warm- half bitter plance in my heart. I think all this really hasn't had much effect on me. I honestly think I'm strong. I must have some sort of shield. But under the shield, I am so fragile. Why is it that I always get the stupid boys? Can I just please have someone that makes me happy, without ending up by being a dick? I'm willing to wait. Thats all for tonight. Always, Amanda