I love how everytime I come onto here it's because I'm not feeling so great emotionallly. But for some reason I really think it's serious. I honestly think I'm depressed. I have clinical depression. If I don't then I don't know what is wrong with me. I have almost all the symptoms. Back pain, stomach aches, I cry easily, I don't bother to keep in touch with my "friends", I can never sleep at night, I eat a lot more than usual... I think I know why. All my friends are gone. Or they are leaving. And I never get out of my house. I graduated from high school and I'm going to be left behind, when all I want to do is get away. Colt hates me. One of his friends died today and I tried to make him feel better. But the more I think about it it's hard to help someone when you can't even help yourself. How am I supposed to tell someone I'm depressed? I think I'm just going to try and help myself. But what if that doesn't work? How do I get help? I don't even know if I AM 100% depressed. I mean, I am a pretty damn happy person most of the time, but the more I think about it, it could just be an act. I don't even know why I'm with Colt anymore. We fight all the time and I obviously can't make him happy. He can't even make me happy. I don't see the point. I just wish I could have gone away to school. It's going to be a rough year, I can already tell. Plus this is by far the worst summer I've ever had.