i started to write an entry about the events of tonight, but i seriously couldn't care less. im just gonna write. monique can be so stupid sometimes. maybe a little more than sometimes. try often. thats all i have to say. she just frusterates me. went to the movies w/ max and kwistian tonight. they saved me. yea so anyways....max's phone rings. unknown number. Max: pick it up Amanda: Hello? "Mystery man":uhh is max there? Amanda: yea hold on (says to max) "I dont know who it is..." Max:Hello...(then some rambling of which i couldn't hear) Amanda: who was it? Max: colin. Amanda: oops. (covers mouth) yea so...that was uhh...weird. i didnt even recognize his voice. maybe thats a good thing... adjectives: dort, weird, funny, "up in the air..." Kwistian said she was hott. oh shut up kwistian maybe a little jelous? just a little... thats probaly what he wants. well he got it. they probaly make out in his car. his car which USED to have a chicken on the dashboard. but it died. he still has the chicken. im suprised he didn't burn it. she used to be on my soccer team. back in the day. she has spent the night at my house. weird. Amanda: hey mom, do you remember alyssa...the one that used to be on my soccer team? Mom: yea, why? Amanda: I guess her and colin are umm...i dont know together? Mom: thats weird. seeing american wedding made me want to get married. im not good at being single. aren't there some sort of lessons i can take? stability. thats what i need. always have. always will. rar. im a tiger. someone come and hunt me down. Plan: relationships don't last forever...right? ours didn't even last 4 months. so i'll only have to tough it out for like what..till december? i can do that. then he will realize that he doesn't want her...that he wants me because i can be funny and im not like other girls and i make him laugh and i dont care what im like around guys and... that will be the day. maybe i should just let it go. WHY IS IT THAT HE'S THE ONE THAT FINDS A PERSON THAT MAKES HIM HAPPY AND IM THE ONE STILL WAITING? im the one that needs to find someone! IM THE ONE WHOS SUFFERING!!!!!! im glad that finally got out of my system. phew. i feel left out. the people who i THOUGHT were my friends i guess aren't anymore. i think marisa died. i havn't talked to her in a while. thats kinda depressing. 'fighter' is a good song. makes me feel something im not for the duration of 4 min. and 6 seconds. wow. i really WONT be suprsied if some of you don't really understand what i write... well thats too bad im the only who really should be reading this diary anyways. i think im still living in freshman year. im really having trouble calling myself a sophmore...and all the boys seniors. some of the girls juniors. just tooooo weird. my birthday is in like a month. im gonna be 16. sweet 16. it better be tight. eh u know what ill just forget about it...all my birthdays suck every year so maybe i should just get over it. BUT THIS IS MY SWEET 16! u only turn 16 once! im out. this entry is getting a bit long -amanda...i dont really think i'm a beans anymore. i think a beans died. like the chicken.