i wrote the longest entry yesterday...AND IT GOT DELETED. I curse you SITdiary. merr First of all...apologies about the last entry, stupid stupid alcohol. But the thing is, i really dissapoint myself. The fact that I turned to such a thing like alcohol to help me with my problems is the stupidest thing i've done. No more of that. I really dont want to tell about what happends at the party, i've done it enough, but lets just say a certain some whom i thought was sincere ended up by being a drunken idiot. not really. he just made some bad decisions. well that sucks for him. but through all this, and despite the turning to to alcohol part...i think i handled the situation pretty well. i didn't break down a start balling...I just kinda sat there and chilled till it was time to go. And plus i forgave him for what he did. At least hes making an effort to make things alright again. Im glad I'm 16. The last few hours of being 15 sucked. oh man....they SUCKED. But I can leave that behind...and let my time of being 16 even better. I realized that Colin is a great friend, and that I think I've left our relationship behind in a warm little place in my heart. The fact that we are both talking about our "relationship" problems and giving eachother advice doesn't freak me out at all. he hepled me through an awful night, sent me a text message...and made me an awesome card. Im satisfied with how things are with him now. And Im glad i dont feel for him in a relationship kind of way anymore. I needed closure...and I got it. and the fact that hes reassuring me about other boys...telling me that things will work out is a good thing. i love him for it. kiss me or diss me. he kissed me. then dissed me. well, he didn't really diss me. he just hooked up with his ex-girlfriend. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. the night after we hooked up. stupid boy. at least he feels bad about it. well HE BETTER. haha funny thing is...hes just crawling back to me now, which i laugh at. to bad he was a good kisser. damn. thats all for now. ~Amanda