Yet again dealing with another point of giving up. That's all I seem to do now. Give up. But this "thing" I gave up had a reason to be "given up." Whatever. I think I have come to the point where I should to marry Heath Ledger. That could work. It's not like im obssessed. He's just an attractive person. If only looks could kill. My problems are pretty much nnothing compared to other peoples. I must have issues or something. I just think I've lost faith in this so called "redemption" I thought would be coming my way. Redemption my ass. Yah well my only hope of going to senior ball is pretty much lost. He decided he wanted to ask a friend of mine, who knows why, and now he doesn't want to go with her and he wants to go with me. Well thats too bad. I miss my best friend. I miss her like crazy. I think I now know why a certain broken heart took so long to mend. Probaly because when we were together, it was one of the happiest points in my life. Going to the game last night at Dos Pueblos made me have major flashbacks of things I totally forgot. Even though a certain volleyball game was at a totally different school, the resemblence of the enviroment was almost uncanny. Heh. All I remember is right after we scored that final point to win the game...I remember being so happy that I was seriously going to cry. In the midst of all the excitement, he still thought about me. Picked me up and twirled me around. Just like the movies. Too bad we both had to mess up. Too bad I was so young and naive. I hadn't really experienced the so-called "outside world", and literally had no idea. Oh well. Sorry for all the flashback moments. I just need to find a freaking shoe that fits. Damnit. -Amanda I met so many men its like they're all the same My apitite for loving is now my hunger pain And when im feeing sexy who's gonna comfort me? My only problem is their insecurity (tired of being alone) yeah yeah ( arguing on the phone) yeah yeah ( telling all ur friends)yeah yeah ( youll never understand)my love cuz im real(the way u walk the way u move the way u talk) cuz im real(the way u stare the way u look ur style ur hair) cuz im real(the way u smile the way u smell it drives me wild) cuz im real and i cant go on without u