Humans are full of complexities that I'm trying to comprehend. Why do we pretend that we're happy when we're not? Why do we pretend we are over a relationship when we're not? I know he's not over it. It's IMPOSSIBLE to be over love in this short of time. I know he was in love with me. I know he was. Shit, it's impossible to be over a relationship period in this short of time. If he's not over it, and I'm admitedly not over it too, then why do we pretend we're not? I just don't understand it. The weaker side of me just wants to run into his arms again and give up on everything. Forget about the lies and his actions since we broke up, and just give up. The strong side of me wants to move on because I know, deep down inside, that we're not meant to be. I think what hurts so much is that I'm alone and I'm lonely. I havn't felt this way in over a year and it's overwhelming. I miss being held, I miss being kissed, and I miss being cared about. What also hurts is the fact that we're not even friends anymore. I deserve so much better. I just need to find a guy that's RIGHT for me. But, I'm not going to find him. He's going to find me. I have a feeling he's at UNLV right now, waiting. And one of the reasons why I am here is so I could figure myself out before I meet him. Things always happen for a reason, and I think this is it. At least I would hope to think so.