"I've felt like shit all day. I don't srart crying, but I feel as if I'm on the brink every second and it's a bit like having a nightmare case of PMS, when you know the tiniest thing will push you over the edge, and you're literally clinging on to sanity by your fingertips." -Excerpt from a private entry And Shelby, I am fine, I just happend to be having an awful day, I mean awful. You know, one of those days where absolutly nothing seems to go right? Yah. It was one of THOSE days. I honestly have grown to have absolutly no respect for those who don't have consideration for other people's feelings. I would bend over backwards for my friends, and I do, but it seems like one of these friends has no morals. But that isn't my probem, it's hers. I realized that if for one day, I was totally honest, told everyone what I thought, what my feelings were, it would be a very bad thing. All hell would break loose, and I would have some people pretty pissed at me, but others left with questions. Don't ask. I wish I could be honest and speak my mind, and for once, defend myself how I have always wanted to. But to be honest (heh), I AM fine. I think I just have a good ol' case of dazed and confused. It'll pass. Before I go, I'd like to add another excerpt from this hardcore private entry. "They say that it never hurts as much after the first time, and I supppose there's an element of truth in that, but they also say that every time you get hurt the barriers go up a little but higher, and you end up being hard and cynical, and not giving anthing to anyone. I definatly have my moments, but who doesn't, right? But I think what happends is whenever I meet someone, I dive in headfirst, showering them with lust and attention, and hoping that maybe this time, they will be different. I think by now, my walls are too high to be climbed upon, and good luck to those who will try, you won't be too successful." -Amanda