For some reason, when things suddenly start to get better, and I can actually smile without clenched teeth, things just went right back where they started from last night. MORP wasn't that bad, I wouldn't necessarily call it a blast, but I guess you could say I enjoyed myself. I did drink, and I have never been drunk at a dance before, so it was definatly an adventure. After the dance Cassie, Mackenzie, Krista, Kaylyn and I all went to In and Out to get food, and on the way there somehow the subject of Jeremy and Julie came up. Kaylyn told me that Jon had told her that they had sex. I swear to god, my jaw dropped, and it stayed there for about five minutes. I honestly, honestly could not believe it. I mean Julie? I knew she was better than that, but being drunk, and obviously I wasn't thinking. So I called her, left her a message saying "I can't believe you, blah blah blah." Then she calls me, and I upfront asked her if she had sex with him. "Omg Amanda, I can't believe you would even believe that? I can't believe you'd believe people you have barely known for a year over me and blah blah blah." WELL WHO THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE? I HONESTLY CAN'T EVEN TRUST ANYONE THESE DAYS, SO WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? So after she freaking yells at me, and then hangs up, about Jen and Anthony call me being pissed at me for believing it. Jen was pissed at me because I told her that Jon told Kaylyn and Kaylyn told me. And she wanted me to apologize to Julie. I'm sorry, but for some reason I wouldn't, I mean I do have SOME pride to live off of right? I mean everyone being pissed at me for some FUCKED UP reason like believing something that someone told me seems ridiculous. But now she along with the rest of the world is pissed because they thought I was blaming the whole thing on Jon. When Jon was the one who told Kaylyn, and I don't know why. So basically, everyone hates me. One of my best friends along with the rest of the world. I mean god, when I was already walking on eggshells emotionally all this has to happen? I mean honestly, WHAT THE HELL DO I HAVE? What do I have to keep me going? Do you want to know what I have? NOTHING. drama drama drama I just need someone to walk at my side, to tell me everything is going to be alright. What I need right now is Monique. I need her to make me laugh, just like she always did. But she's gone, she's left me, just like everyone else.