"They say that it never hurts as much after the first time, and I supppose there's an element of truth in that, but they also say that every time you get hurt the barriers go up a little but higher, and you end up being hard and cynical, and not giving anthing to anyone. I definatly have my moments, but who doesn't, right? But I think what happends is whenever I meet someone, I dive in headfirst, showering them with lust and attention, and hoping that maybe this time, they will be different. I think by now, my walls are too high to be climbed upon, and good luck to those who will try, you won't be too successful." I sooo called that like 4 months ago. When someone shows up, I don't let myself be the first to call, text message or im, because I don't want to get imvolved. Getting involved always means heartbreak. I can't take that plunge, even if a life worth living is only one with risks, fuck that. I've been through enough.