although this weekend was crazy and everything, i enjoyed it. the only thing is i realized how stupid, arrogant and two-faced people can be. this is really nothing new, i knew all this, but this weekend was an example of it more than ever. i thought everything was okay with me and c, but obviously he had to be an ass. the thing is, whenever anything like this happeneds, i talk to him about it to patch things up. but the thing is, im always the one to do it. i talked to travis about this, and i told him that if he reallt cared, he would do something it. he said "well, a beans, im not trying to be mean, but dont think he does." bingo. of coarse he doesn't care. i've known this all along. so its his decision and actions that our relationship is based on, its his decison. i dont care anymore, im just gonna sit back and be like fuck you. i dont even care anymore. on a lighter note, i've found a new guy to chase after. i seriously havn't chased after a guy for a long ass time. and it feels good. we just started talking this weekend, seeing eachother around, and im thinking maybe something could happen. who knows, im just taking this day by day. monique will be leaving on the 31st, which is in 6 days. oh god, i dont even want to think what it will be like without her. she wants to leave tommorrow. shes gonna call her dad to see if she can fly out tommorrow. i understand why, because of all the crap that happened, and how humiliated she is. i just dont want her to leave. i never would have thought this would be happening a few months ago, but now it is. my best friend is gonna be gone. now, again, ill be left alone. with nothing. things are changing. i dont like it, not one bit. -amanda