Im finally glad I got out. Colin picked me up at like 10 to go to Jordan Hickle's graduation party. I had fun. Colin and I were joking around a lot. I talked to T-Ford about Isa for a while...he seemed a little sad. Oh well. I never knew how cool Regan was. He is one cool kid. I always thought he was a major ass cuz of what he did to Marisa. But he's not an ass, it was just an asshole thing that he did. So after the tay, Colin and I decided just to go to his house for a little bit. Ugh. Thats where we started to talk. At first it was really pleasant, just talking about how we were gonna work things out w/ friends and everything. It was nice, just laying there on his bed...with the window open and the fan on. It really felt like summer. But then of coarse...shit happeneds. Somehow the topic of "us" came up. The only thing I remember is me saying "Well, I think I just like you too much." Ugh. Then he starts saying this whole thing on being attached blah blah blah. Grr. Haha. As of right now, I feel angry and powerful. Almost numb. Yah. Im numb. I also realized that maybe I do need to back off. I'm turning into someone I don't want to be. So I'm gonna try to make myself into the person I once was before all this happened. The one who didn't even like this Colin guy. I remember those days. When things started out...he was crazy for me...and I was just kinda eh. Mostly caught up in it all. Almost forcing myself to like him. AS we can see now, I obviously started to like this boy. I started to fall for him- hard. Then I kept falling and falling...to the point of being attached. To the point of being where I am right now. But after this conversation we had, and after of the surge of power that's running through my viens...I've made my decision. I'm gonna have to stop this falling...and start climbing. To the point of where I can be me, and not some psyco attached girlfriend. I actually found these lyrics along time ago. Haha. I downloaded the song because the "techno remix" of it was off the hook. But I found a part of the lyrics are speaking to me. I've been through all this before So how could you think That I would stand around And take some more Things are gonna change 'Cause I won't be your fool anymore That's why you have to leave -Whitney Houston hahaha "It's Not Right, But It's Okay" hope u guys are having an awesome summer *love* ~Amanda oh yes...i love when I find songs that basically speak to me.... Michelle Branch Goodbye To You Of all the things I've believed in I just want to Get it over with Tears form behind my eyes But I do not cry Counting the days That pass me by I've been searching Deep down in my soul Words that I'm hearing Are starting to get old It feels like I'm starting all over again The last three years Were just pretend And I said "Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to" I used to get lost in your eyes And it seems that I can't live a day without you Closing my eyes and You chase my thoughts away To a place where I am blinded by the light But it's not right Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to And it hurts to want everything And nothing at the same time I want what's yours And I want what's mine I want you But I'm not giving in this time Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to The one thing that I tried to hold on to And when the stars fall I will lie awake You're my shooting star