If someone were to ask me if the glass was half empty or half full, I'd say half full. Even tho I've been through a lot of crap, I'm not gonna let this boy bring me down. For some reason I think thats what he wants, for me to be mad and missing him. But I dont. Im happy without him. Dude, Im like freaking on a happy high. Life is good. But even through all this, I still have an empty feeling inside. I feel lost. Like Im walking with one leg and seeing with one eye. I felt so stable with him at one point. I felt like I was walking on firm ground, but now I feel like I'm walking on a rope 30 stories high. But fuck that. I'm on my way. I'm not gonna let some ugly bastard who walks like a gorilla bring me down. Sounds harsh, but seriously. He did so much crap to me. I know I freaking deserve better than that. Don't think Im conceited for thinking that...I'm far from it, but seriously...if some of you knew what he did, what he put me thruogh...I'd have the right to say that. He told Marisa that he hated the fact that this was a learning experience for me. He makes me sound more young, and naive. But I'm not. I freaking know more than him when it comes to relationships. Hmmm. Well I better freaking hope it was for him too. If Colin keeps fucking up like this, no girl is gonna like him. That boy is lucky he had me in the first place, I didn't even like him to begin with. Jeeze. Too bad I fell for him. Haha. Whatever. Now I just know he was a waste of my time, and I'm over it. Marisa thinks I'm in denial. I'm not. I've just become strong...my skin is too thick to let something like this hurt me. Peace and love, Amanda