isnt that picture of just just so freakin hot? yah, i thought so. I seriously dont think that just is a very good looking person, but when i saw that picture i almost had a heart attack. Yah, well im just gonna write my thoughts down and not really explain anything that has happened since x-mas. So this might seem kinda random. Tyler. I dont know what happend. Just 2 days ago I was like in love with that kid. But i dont know. I know i really shouldnt be, when all we did was know eachother for 2 days and kiss, but, i dont know. he probaly thinks im some immature clingy little freshman. Grr. Thats the disadvantage of seniors. whatever. I reeally dont care, Im just gonna find someone different here. But last night something clicked, I spilled my guts to the guy, telling him almost everything, and then all he has to say is, I think its really cool that we talk. GRR. So i ended up blocking him cuz I need to get over it and snap back into reality and find a guy here. Cuz this shit is way to gay for me. Marisa. God I feel so sorry for that girl. She was like in love with Jesse. Thats all older guys to, take ur heart and throw it out a window thats like 100 stories high and let it shatter when it hits the ground. Im sick of watching my friends get hurt. Thats why Tyler is goin bye bye without him even knowing it. But i know Im probaly gonna end up unblocking him tonight to see if hes on, but i have to try so hard not to. SoCo is sunday. and we are gonna have a blast. Im sick of being the preppy amanda trying to satisfy everyone. But, I think Im changing, Im gonna dye my hair purple( well streaks anyway) and just forget about everything. Plus id d a good dead, I made Marisa this CD to make her feel better. I think it did. On my way to 2nd period she stopped me and was like omg amanda, ur so sweet, thank you so much for everything, then she gave me this big hug and was like" omg im about to cry". I was about to cry. I seriously forgot how it felt to do a good deed. So i decided im gonna try to do more of that. On sat. marisa tijana and sara are comong over to sleep over and we are gonna try to make marisa feel better. WE are gonna rent a whole crap load of chick flicks, do pedicures, eat popcorn that sorta shit. OO also we are gonna play the sims and make a game with marisa and jesse. haha. We are gonna drown jesse in the pool and make marisa date all these other guy. ahh...sweet revenge is so great :) haha well thats it, i really should write in here more often. Luv always, Amanda