i am on a serious calm, lots of weird stuff has happened including me being all out of wack and i have not cared or had a panic attack not once today. its been.. well.. quite amazing. first of all i have no idea what today's date is, forgot my watch and everything else i usually need and I dont care. Next, I ripped the first pair of pants I had on, which are really cute and irreplaceable but I didn't panick just handled it and will sew it back, make them one in a million i guess you could say. and i fell asleep in math and have tons of homework but truely its still all good. last night i was really honeset with my boyfriend about my feelings and well everything (such as my fears towards him)which is not something that happens all the time, i called a heartbeat of mine and asked him questions that ive been wondering but scared to question for a long time, i felt like fuckin superwoman!!! im sittin on something higher than anything ive ever smoked, and im more leveled out than any alcohol ive ever tasted. lol speaking of alcohol man shit my friend is grounded till March because his dumb ass was drinking and playing around with trick alcohol (everclear) and decided to blow fire. It fucked up his whole mouth, and when his dad asked him about it he said that he got in a fight at the movies. Well when his dad found out that he never went to the movies he just decided to tell the truth, so for lying in the first place he got two months and I guess because it was alcohol and he is just now recovering from Mono (which is a dumb thing to do) he got the other two months!! Sheez these guys and a few girls in my class made me think differently about white people for the first time in my life. I had never in my life been prejudice and then all of a sudden i snapped and I was so ready to say I hate fuckin white people. They just keep acting like they are better than everybody, and they knock anybody for anything that they consider low. I know plenty of people do that, but I guess when I looked around it was only the white people doing it. I am really sorry for thinking that, because alot of my best friends are white, and like my best helper buds or funniest friends when I had to tell them why I had such an attitude they were crushed, but they let me know its not about color (though because those guys are prejudice that is why they do it) and assholes are born with any tone of skin one can have. SO APPOLOGIES TO ALL AND ACCEPTED FROM ANYBODY THAT THINKS LIKE THAT ABOUT MY COLOR, lol its truely not about color when it comes to assholes or crazy bitches. lol not about color when it comes to personality bitches come a dime a dozen any color, be the pick of the litter. with that im done b/c im feeling really crazy. ;P ~Tara~