my page will not let me change it at all and that sux. the font is smaller than i have it down as and it wont let me show a left panel picture. i wonder sometimes why my friend always wants to be in the front and the center of attention. she's not that great. maybe i envy her for being so secure in herself. or maybe i hate the fact that she is so into herself and aint even that great. u decide. so anyways on to more important things. my boyfriend called me today. he saved me from myself.i was about to do some damage.i have found that i hurt myself when people leave me to myself. to discover new ways to hate myself.i am always hurting myself. damn shame right. im glad school is back. its a way for me to keep my sanity because at times i walk away to my world where all is good and well. i love fantasy so much better than reality. i mean it always goes your way or at least with the flow. last night i was so tired that i didnt dream. and that was good. i am tired of clowns scareing me to death in my sleep. im afraid to go to sleep. they haunt me. i toss and turn. dang sleep reminds me of that new bed i want that i have not received yet. it makes me mad that my dad wouldnt go ahead and by the whole thing. that really sux.money can be such a problem when you are broke. im depressing myself.