life is good. i guess. im still doing the same dumb ass things as before. only now. i have feelings about them. i still feel. feel like im speeking in chopped sentences. in a strange. very strange fashion. dont mind the way i type. it makes me angry. that i see my wrongs. and continue to do them. with almost no mourning. i saw my boyfriend today. he melted my heart. he made me think. but i bet ill still cheat. what did i learn? im not sure. i think i am damned to cheat. maybe i will change the mood to damned. though ive already been that. i can be that again. i guess. i really am just tormented. with being damned. because i cheat. and dont have the willpower to stop. i wish people would reply to my diaries. like they used to. why dont yall? i needed help for the moment. and nobody said anything. i bragged about this wonderful diary place. where people care. and yall kind of. made me look wrong. i feel like time stands still sometimes. yes like it really stops. and nothing. or no one moves while it stops. and when im in the time stop. my heart stops beating. and realizes that it is not in love at all. and probably has never been. my heart realizes that it is as alone. as it has always been. and that i am alone. its just really and truely. me myself and i. what a sad story. i shouldnt believe im alone. with all the love i have. im unappreciative. and such a fool. bye.