Haven't written in here in bout two days. What is sad is i missed this diary like you miss a friend when you are shipped off to boot camp ( maybe some one else knows the feeling). Been really busy with studying for exams, and showing them that this blonde haired black girl can really top the charts. I'll be all american in my head and create an alter ego above the rest. ive already created one that allows me to have some of the greatest sex in the world. almost completely amazing to my body, a huge acomplishment to an almost prude! so anyways ive been really tired lately. staying up late nights and waking up early mornings. smoking at strange hours, and ruining my heart beat. at one time my skin broke out and then returned to normal in a matter of hours. now i am itchy all over. its so weird. almost abnormal. ive been appreciated alot more alot lately. like the way i am formed or the people i am blessed with in my life. my features both inside and out and my ability to pick the bestest people in the world to be friends or asssociates with. somebody should just thank God that i realized that. really been appreciating my boyfriend too alot. my ex likes to pop in and out of my life, including Evvan. and Ive just learned to surf around those two and let them know that my life didnt stop when they started walking out and it wont start back up because they walked back in.ive noticed that i always thought or at least never thought about how other people are alive when i am not looking at them. I start to think that you know nothing goes on while you cant see them and then life starts back up when you see them in your presence. anybody ever felt like that? im very quizical today or inquisitive. i like that word. so anyways i learned alot today and took an easy exam man i cant wait till school is out so i can catch up on my sleep and get my other priorities in order because i am steppin out of them again. really selfish this year. i even kept this present that i originally had sewn for one of my best cousins in the world. now i have to go buy more fabric and make some money for that damn money lost. i see alot coming my way. well i need to go b/c i have lots of studying to do and e mail checking but i may be back.