CELEBRATION THIS IS ENTRY 100 i left comments but not on diary entries. and im really sorry bout that but i dont feel like anything i can say would be of help to you. i dont feel so sick anymore though i have my times and i dont feel so depressed anymore but if you leave me alone i can dwell till the cows come home. in fact now i have nightmares. i cant sleep alone anymore. i wake up in this thick sweat. only two dreams have made sence to me. the one with jeff in it when he's ignoring me and making me feel so low. and the one with brad when he is giving me a reason to be afraid to fall in love with him. i know what i said earlier. about not caring about jeffrey and all but i guess that was a lie. i mean i dont want to be with him or anything like that but i do require some answers as to why things are like they are. i mean i think i will always care about him and i do miss him, but i could let him go if i only knew why i had to. now about brad. he's always liked me. but he's the type of guy that is bad for your health. he knows that i am pregnant though i have no idea why he is still here. i told him that in my predicament. being pregnant and suicidal and all. that looking for a boyfriend that is not a safe bet should be the last thing i do. im a cutter now. i like it. it feels good and nobody sees the scars. well im boring myself now. but this is your update. luv always sugah reminder this is entry 100