i dont have much to say at all. i just feel a lil umm. i dont know.like i am letting myself down at all times. i wonder how beyonce can sit there and say that she knows that she can never dissapoint herself? how the hell does she figuere? i mean i feel like i always go against myself. and against my prayers. i bet God is getting tired of watching me fuck up. because i sure as hell am. looks like this diary will be a short one. but a therapy for me. i have lots of journals. more than some that have been here for years. crazy huh. this is my therapy. so i wont stop. rather i say i am going to slow down or not. i want a daily umm i dont know.a reference to my life. maybe ill make a poem out of each one. anyways ill leave now.