ok im back from my long term in rehab. did anybody miss me?? thanx for the messages its nice to return to something spiritual or hopeful ya know?? well anyways i had lots of bad dreams that drove me crazy and shit, and was oding on a lot of things that just werent killing me or the baby. i spent hours sobbing uncontrollably, mad b/c they wouldnt give me what i wanted or w/e. i wont say im okay now. but jeffrey found me (by the way i was in VA) and we are fixing what was messed up. appearantly my evil half bro (the one that hates anybody i date) told him it was over between us when i started having my morning sicknesses and he recognized the signs. i thought that was crazy for jeff to believe. but how can i talk? when he told me i believed too. im not really all that okay now. but i have support now. not my mothers but totally my fathers. who lives all the way in va (im back in midland now). im in pain again, because my baby is growing outside of my felopian tubes, but we are waiting to see if both of us will be safe before we decide anything. i have my family and my friends and i guess thats enough. here's a new poem that i made in rehab this one is called lose myself (speaking to jeff) im running fast as the wind and getting no where my road never ends im just out there pray he'll come and save pray he'll be my hero pray he'll never fade pray he'll never let go watch me fall away watch my heart melt watch the sun rays watch me lose myself this one is called follow (speaking to death) where are you going take me too i wanna go with you travel raods untraveled alongside with heaven unafraid of unknown ready to tread the untreaden please dont leave ill be of serive and i need you so much its all hidden underthe surface ill follow you whereever you go cause i need you and you just dont know