not so happy today. my mommy made me mad. today my stomach hurted from being so stressed about all the lil things (that i cant change but worry about anyways). so n e ways u know when ur sick to ur stomach and ur spit is gross? well i was rinsing out my mouth and my mom was like what are you doing?? and i was like what does it look like genius? and she goes why does ur stomach hurt? and i go i dont know!! and she says you arent pregnant are you?? omfg i almost knocked her the fuck out. she was smiling the whole time she said it. can your mom be a bitch??? jeff dropped out of alternative school today. fuckin alternative??? i guess there's no hope. he's in a pissy mood but smiling for me b/c its my birthday. no idea why he does that, i dont do it for him. ha well i try but i cant front like that. my ex keeps calling me and all of these guys who think i am cute are calling me too. they get my phone number through friends who dont think jeff is the guy for me b/c he takes me through things. honestly i like the things i go through. if i hadnt been so numb before i would have been through these things before but ever since safari ive been pretty damn cold. letting my pride stop me and shit. anyways its getting pretty out of hand. almost whild. and its late so i should be on my way to bed but im not. alot on the list and i know i will be so tired. tomorrow i need to do me. i wonder will i allow myself to do that. maybe i should take many pills and never wake up. my ex's are fightin. but not over me. well kind of sort of. but i dont know why. guns are involved. im scared. i wish they would stop. or calm down. stupid guys. stupid people. get this maybe i was so mad at my mom b/c she asked me something that can be very possible. like i said or maybe i didnt. i raped jeff the other day in my friend's bathroom and there was no time for protection. i figuered since we didnt finish that there is not problems but we done this unprotected thing before. since i lost the first. damn if i am, this time im keepin it. got to go luv always sugah