okay i have come to a quick and steady conclusion of my life. I am happy. very happy. without love. its such a confusing thing, i believe i am better off without it. before i started getting way into lajeffrey life was alot better than now. now i am border line depressed and very ready to take a razor to some hidden part on my body. i dont want to be alone tonight. but it doesnt look as if i have a choice. sucks when S.O.L is your only answer a problem right?? Lajeffrey confuses me. big time. doesnt want me to smoke, but must be high every other four hours? doesnt want me to drink. but turns into King of the Bud Friday and Saturday night?? so flirtatious but when i have a favorite boy he gets mad? he's weird. and the weird attention he gives me i like. until its gone. and then iam left wondering was it just that? attention? attraction? or is he simply being himself. I told myself if I would stop worrying things like this wouldnt happen, but I cant simple natural reflex to unknown answers. so anyways tonight i guess ill just wait for him to call, or simply hope he does. tonight it seems like everybody is too busy for me. oh about last night. Taysha is a fuckin hater who gone sit in my face like she aint did shit. she gone go up to the ex and tell him all that i am doing now and shit. im like holl up hoe dont hate. she likes him or w/e, if she wants him she can have him cause he aint worth it. she'll figuere that out. Aaron is like a pair of Jordans. the only reason u bought them more than likely is b/c of the name because other than that they are fuckin ugly. not saying he is ugly. simply not worth the time. Jeffrey thinks i want to be with Bradrick. and he keeps leavin me alone to think. i hate it when i have time to think. I've been on some serious drugs this weekend, Im losing determination to live. im simply floating. the word of the day has got to be simply.