So here it is... Christmas eve, for some reason to me it doesn't feel like Christmas. I've had a really useless break so far, and I hope that I can put my free time to use in the days to come. I wanted things to change today though, I wanted people to respect each other, I wanted things to get more relaxed and I wanted to see everything become more meaningful for people... but from what I saw today I was proven otherwise. I learned from a wise man, that mankind is dark and that things so often come between us and God, and when we should be so thankful for what we have, we put stupid things in front of our gifts and we mess up our priorities and let our actions fall out of place. We just let our attitudes and tempers go, we don't have patience anymore, and I think I can safely say that I saw all of 3 people smile all day today, Hadas, her mom, and my dad. I think that seeing people be so uptight and stand-offish around each other, especially on Christmas eve, made me a little bit more questioning of how Christmas came to this. I can only stop to wonder why the priority is "the Christmas spirit" and Santa, where the important thing in Christmas is the symbolism, the importance of the birth of someone so important to mankind that all the greed, impatience, intolerance and hate that we put forth is seen as nothing when put our trust on someone more than ourselves. Jesus was more than just a cute porcelain headstone on a natavity scene. Not to sound condescending, but he's all that I know I need, even when I so often forget that. I know that I'm young, and that I have much to learn in terms of wisdom, maturity and life lessons... but I think that knowing Jesus has made my life that much more fulfilling. I've really been able to see the big picture much better, even when I put stupid stuff like school or video games in front of that. I think one thing that God has showed me this Christmas is that I'm not the center of the universe, and neither is anyone else on this Earth... but knowing that I only get to live once, for a short span of time, makes me want to go out and love people as I've been loved that much more. I want to live life to the fullest in the sense of wanting to live a life that isn't empty in the end. I don't want to have to turn to drugs or alcohol for comfort in a situation where I could just as easily turn to my mentors or my bible and see what God has in store for me. I just want to get to know as much as possibly and apply myself however I can for the years I've been given on this planet... and by no means am I going to so pessimistically waste them by being negative and complaining all the time. One thing I learned today is that when you step back and realize that the thing you or anyone else is complaining about isn't really worth complaining about or bringing yourself down over. I'm sorry if I let some of you down, but I wish you all a happy holiday and have a wonderful week as well.