Back for more text. I need to write tonight because of a few things. I hate alot of things again, and this is after I've tried with such valiance to cheer myself up. I got back from the Jazz/Mad. Fest today and I think that I gained admiration for a few people over the trip, but for most part, I just realized how dishonest and belligerent my peers have become since I've met them. I guess that's what happens by the time you're a senior in high school though. People "find" themselves and leave you out of it. Sometimes that's good, and sometimes not. I'm glad that I'm not like the other 90% of class in the respect that I don't drink or smoke... which is evidently a huge problem for my peers in terms of their affiliation with me and my lack of haphazard, selfish and downright ridiculous behavior. And when did everyone stop using real words to formulate sentences? Sorry... anyways, I never give people problems about what they do, and I'll never speak up about it, because their lives are thiers to live, but it's the people I admire most and the people I was the most attracted to that let me down the most. They put on a huge front to cover up the things they've done and they don't realize that simply being genuine and living life out in a half-decent way is actually the only way they'll ever have a chance of amounting to anything. I don't want to have a group of miserable, alcoholic, dishonest peers any time soon... and as far as I can see, that's coming to fruition faster and faster by the day. I sound like someone who hasn't lived, and someone who calls themselves straightedge and files accusations and that's the last person I want to be. I hate accusations and I don't care about what you do, I care about you, and when that gets challenged by who you become, that breaks my heart. My only hope for my life is that, whatever I do, I can continue to be passionate and dedicated, and that I will always love the people I'm around. I hate this gift that I have (picking out faults that is) but I feel like it's the only thing keeping me from going crazy sometimes. I haven't accurately expressed what I was trying to, but I'll take another stab at it later. Goodnight everyone, sleep well.