Today started like many other days this summer. I woke up at noon, made pasta and watched The Life Aquatic. Productive, I know. I'm going to do some photography @ a show tonight, so I figure that'll redeem my stagnant behavior the past few hours. Now to write about what I had been wanting to write about. I noticed a few more things about the process of becoming an adult lately. Part of adulthood is becoming adjusted to feelings getting hurt and expectations not being met. I think people are capable of tremendous things, and I would have expected everyone who told me they wanted to go off and be an astronaut to be an astronaut. But life (and adulthood) don't really work like that. I've seen a lot of substance abuse lately. It's strange to have all of those things that my parents told me were bad now a widely-accepted and even gratifying part of adult life. I guess I'm not one to talk, I haven't tried this stuff, but is there something so wrong with not wanting to get involved in it? I feel like connections I didn't make in high school are far more important and serving me much better than all of the 1000's of connections I did make. The hardest part of dealing with drugs and alcohol is fact that you're not expected to say anything about it or talk about it, you're supposed to be cool with it and act natural, when in reality, for some people (like myself) there couldn't be anything more un-natural. The saddest part is, there's nothing that I can do about it besides lead by example and that pretty much never works. It's sad too because the people you least expect to drink or do drugs end up becoming subservient to every want and need their friends pressure onto them. I have a friends whose mother is an alcoholic and he used to come spend the night at my house crying his eyes out whenever she drank, and now he's totally cool with drinking himself. I wouldn't expect things like this to occur less in college (in fact, I know they'll occur more) I just have to make my prescence that much more know for those who want a way out. I wish things weren't like this, but this is the unfortunate truth and I can't pretend it's not happening this fast and happening to me in all of my relationships.