I've made decisions in the past few minutes, and they're great. I found out that the girl I like just got a boyfriend... and this sorta started a chain of thought that has been incredibly beneficial up to now. She didn't care about me, and come to think about it, all the girls before didn't care about me either. I just made this connection too. I need to stop acting like I owe them something and just start worrying about myself and making the person that I am better. And, as of now anyway, I'm done with that. I'm done with caring about her to the end of the earth when in reality I know that she could care less about me and the things I'm interested in. I don't know where I developed the notion that her, or any of these girls for that matter, did. They never cared, and I did. That was the only difference. The hugest difference. I'm excited and let down at the same time. I had such hope for something that wouldn't ever come to fruition. And now that's gone, but it opens doors. I can commit to other people and things now without worrying about her or what she thinks... because now, she doesn't matter like she did. Okay, side note, I've been so happy lately. I don't know what it is, but I've just been incredibly joyful and I don't know if it's not having choir to worry about or just being content, but I don't think I'm going to let girls get me down with the frequency they did before ever again. It's not worth it, being sad all the time that is. I've just been really on the bright side of things lately and hopefully I'll be able to keep that up. I'm going to bed... and I got a new lens (1.4 Ap. fools!). 'Night guys.