It's early Sunday and I'm up playing guitar and not being tired once again. I'll get the whole sleep thing down before I move out, but I've got a few days. I just was looking at the memorial website for one of my friends who died last summer and it all just kinda came flooding back to me how much I freaking miss this kid and how unfair it seems that people can walk this Earth every day and not commit to anything or amount to anything or even be good for anything but this kid lived his life in the most vivid and passionate way only to have that same life taken from him after 17 years. What's fair about that? Absolutely nothing. It's dumb too because I know it could've just as easily have been me if I would've gone camping with him the day after we ate lunch together for the last time. I was so glad to see him. It had been over 2 months and we just had sort of grown apart and out of nowhere I just get the feeling that I should call him and we should go out to lunch. We did, and we came back to my house and acted like idiots and played Halo (as usual) and then what happens? He dies in a tragic accident the next day. I mean. Seriously, how does something like that even happen? I mean, I love God and I'm going to make a my life a living sacrifice to him, but I just can't see how that judgement would be just in any way. I guess I'll have to live more to understand how something like that even happens. The weird part about it is, sometimes I catch myself wondering, hey, I wonder what Taylor's doing tonight? And then it all just comes back to me how good of a kid he was and how genuinely caring and passionate of an individual he was. I feel so bad for his family, I can't imagine what going through such a tremendous ordeal is like. He was a son and brother and he's gone. I feel like I shouldn't re-itterate that at all, but I think it's so important to remember him, because sometimes you meet bad people and you get dragged down into the dirt by people who don't care about you and don't care about life, and I want to remember him especially because he wasn't like that at all. I'm leaving for college in 3 days and I still feel 17, I think I'll feel 17 for some time. I don't know what college is going to be like not having that kid around to make fun of and make an idiot of myself with. I don't thank God enough that he sends people like that.