I feel like every entry I've made for the past couple of days has been really negative, but I guess that's just how I feel... one of the things I've come to like about myself is that I can still see things from an optimistic light even when things turn our horribly. Nonetheless, I'd like to reflect upon my day. Today was frustrating, largely due to the actions of other people. Now when it comes to crowds, I'm terribly analytical. I just can't see why some people are stupid in the process of trying to make themselves stand out so badly... and as cliche as it may sound, lately I've just tried to be myself. By being myself, I may upset some people, but I only say "be myself" by the positive things that entail. I just love when a store-bought indie rock kid comes up to me and says, "I'm just trying being myself... so screw you, and now I'm going to punch you in the face" (so I'm exaggerating...) But when it comes to crowds, especially shopping (especially in the mall (especially the day after Christmas)), everyone wants to stick out and have the other person say, "wow, that's hardcore man," which bothers me like none other. It just takes me so much by surprise when someone is so blessed in the position they've been put in, and they can't even accept that, let alone respect the benefits they have yet to reap. As much as I complain, and as guilty of this as I am, I really like that I can identify when I do this, and I thank God that he's given me talents that I can actually use to not better myself, but to glorify him and make others feel better than they are and make people feel happy as a relief from the pain (whether it be genuine or not) that they have in their lives. The thing that comes out of me in crowds isn't always a good thing either, it's just so many stereotypes pop into my head (none are racial by the way) that just wreck everything that I could possibly create between myself and the person I'm judging... but by the time they fulfill the stereotype or social cliche I'm thinking of, they just wreck it for themselves. People in general, not that there aren't beautifully gifted and wonderful people in this world (because there are a ton), but when it comes to how someone acts, it shouldn't be about trying to impress, but just being, and cherishing, and respecting. I've found this to be true in my life like none other, and if someone disagrees... by all means: stand out, prove yourself and divide. I won't be offended... Goodnight everyone.