It's Sunday. Oh yes, it certainly is. Took a nap in the sun, worked out a little, spent an hour in the shower, and otherwise lazed except for sporatic invervals of practicing for my audition. Yesterday Megan and Mike came over to help me. I missed Mike. I still look at him and shake my head, wondering how it happened. My Mike. Changed so much. Hm. Back then, he didn't have romance. Now? Girlfriend for 2 years.You really don't know what you have until it's gone. Haven't talked to Zack since the game on Friday. Jo-Football has called me everyday. 2:30am. Friday and Saturday. What a weirdo. He called this morning to ask if we were going to hang out. I didn't answer. I'm in an odd state of mind. I don't know where I am or who I'm supposed to be. I recieved an invitation in the mail to join Scottsdale Honors Catillian. It's a wonderful opportunity- my sister did it when she was in high school and my mom has been bugging me about it since my freshmen year. I was so excited when I got the letter. I'm tired of being alone again, which links back to me not knowing where I am or who I'm supposed to be. For years I was walking on the same path; dirt-covered with little pebbls and wild flowers on either side with pines all around. Now I see a huge fork in the road and the roadsign is a little unclear. I'd turn back the way I came, but that path is gone and all that remains is a thousand foot cliff. I want some guidance. I want that chivalrous knight to parade into my life and sweep me off my feet. I'm sick of walking. And even though, to some, it looks like there's a parade of knights around me, all I can find is empty armor. I can lift the visor to see inside his soul and there's nothing. Or, more commonly,there's a heart with someone else's name on it. What am I saying?? I'm working things out. Everything. One day at a time. In a week, everything will have ended and I can begin hope for better beginnings. I have a salute now for my audition and I feel comfortable with the music. Great Gatsby is awesome- I LOVE Fitzgerald's writing style. Softball is all but over. Almost time to start looking for a job. I wonder what I'll be in the mood for this summer. 5 weeks left, that's all. Carrie