oh my god. i am content for once in my life. i am completely over guys 1, 2, and 3. i have now accepted them as eye candy, and nothing more. i gave up entirely on persuing guy 3, even after the tarot reading (yes i believe that stuff, coz i know the guy who gave me a reading and know he wouldnt scam me). after i said hi, and he said hi as in "do i know you?"....i pretty much figured fuck you. i've known him since grade school. so yes even after all the shit in my life, i feel content and not quite as depressed. still depressed, that is just my natural state of mind, but not to the point of I SHALL KILL EVERYONE! mwahaha.... so anyway...blah blah blah...i wish i could just find love for once in my life, and that is the only thing that i am still hurting over. my lack of love.