so um.... i went to arizona for a funeral. the bagpipes are what set off the tears, helps that that's when they had the BODY right there and i was like oh...god.... so sad. but that's all i care to write aboot for the weekend. now for the juicy stuff. im kinda mad at brett for being drunk ("slightly intoxicated" whatever) yet AGAIN....but he told me he loved me? so it doesn't matter? whatever. it's nice to hear....but i can't help but wonder about the sincerity of it? i mean....i dunno.... it's just weird. i can't picture someone ever falling in love with me? ever.... much less someone as ....well....beloved by many other women....as he is. he has like a million girls wanting him constantly (heh, makes it all the more flattering that he picked moi...but still.) i just can't quite believe it? who knows. i'll see him eventually....and i guess we'll talk about everything....whatever.... hahaha i should call him. poor boy....so neglected... im just still processing. and i cannot quite get there? shit...i'm not ready to love someone again... i mean....i just got out of something that was WAY too heavy...and yes. i loved him....but can i let myself love again? like i'm trying. really really i am... but i think i kinda....blew that fuse... i'm just extremely apathetic... i've shut off my heart. and this is probably the worst thing to happen to someone who was once as passionate and romantic as me....