just...not good. things are getting worse. i can feel it. it's really over...damn. this is a shitty feeling. i don't know what else i can do....i won't wait. i don't want to do that to myself. waiting=false hope. i give up. (ok not really but i wish i did) in all seriousness....who knows....life is weird. promises are meant to be kept, keep your promise to me. break it and you break me. and forever will i never forgive you...mwahahaha... well, i don't know. the scary thing is that i don't even think i hit rock bottom yet. just falling, and things get worse. till all goes dark....looking forward to THAT. wooo..... bitter. alone. pathetic. such is me, such that i no longer want to be...