but here i am writing once again. ok the last entry i posted...i don't remember i think it was after he came over while my parents were there? who knows. such confusion, and me too lazy to see. well friday was the double date. did it go well? i don't know. for me and brett it went fine, we had a pretty good time (at least i did) and we had a really nice talk on the pier that night...while sam and theron were supposed to have a talk of their own. unfortunately i don't think it went so well for them. friday was happy for me because i went to his house first and we watched a couple movies, well....mostly it was me watching the movies, he played world of warcraft or whatever. eh i don't mind, we were still in eachother's company so it didn't matter. then sam came and picked us up, and we got theron, then were on our way to ventura. the only bad thing was that we didnt get there till like 6.30....eh. i was really disappointed because i desperately wanted to get a tarot reading that day, and was willing to pay for one for brett as well....but scott was busy with readings the entire time. then when we came back (as we had TOLD him we would) he was closed! he always waited for us! and it was only like 8.45! i was like wtf?? it was really weird. so that was really disappointing.... walked over to the beach...sat on AIDS swings (sam's paranoid. i enjoyed the freedom of it.) heh....theron and sam kept getting pissed because brett kept kissing me....i'm sorry? lol. well maybe if they had kissed they wouldnt have noticed so damn much. yeesh. but of course, they didn't. that was the saddest part of the whole evening. they didn't DO anything. they barely even spoke to eachother much less did something romantic....it was so sad. i think brett and i being the way we were may have put more pressure on them...we didn't mean to. oh well. tis over now. saturday------- i don't remember doing much of anything yesterday before i went to brett's friend's going away dinner thing. she's moving to virginia on tuesday, i was happy to be invited. as well as approved. (yeas. randee approved me and decided i was cool enough to date brett. woohoo.) oh wait. i do remember something. i spent the entire morning feeling like crap because brandon decided to tell people shit about me. when someone in his p.e. class asked him about 'that girl he was going out with' he said things like "i think her name was jordan or something..." (ahem. you were my friend for a fucking year you asshole, i think you'd remember my name.) and "she thought we were going out but we really weren't" (oh fuck you. i knew we weren't going out, you made it very clear. you were the whiney bitch who couldn't get over his exgf's from 2 fucking years ago and therefore couldn't 'go down that road again' because you weren't ready. and i'm the pathetic one???.......and he makes it sound like i liked him and somehow got it in my head he liked me. WTF YOU ASSHOLE YOU FUCKING KISSED ME EVERY DAY SO DON'T YOU DARE PRETEND IT WAS ALL IN MY HEAD) as you can see i'm still a little hurt by all this. wow if i ever thought i'd still have feelings for him it's so nice to know those are long gone. and i can finally let myself trust brett. haha this should be interesting.... don't hurt me.