Ok so I’m feeling pretty lazy…it is very late after all…and I’ll give you the gist of what happened today. Today was the second day of the ‘every 15 minutes’ program…and I really enjoyed it. Today they had the assembly where they showed the video footage from yesterday’s dramatization and lemme tell ya the song they picked could NOT have been more perfect for the little montage they had going. “Mad World” by Gary Jules…you may remember it from Donnie Darko. I love the song…I’m listening to it right now. The video didn’t really get me crying that much, like maybe 2 tears…but it was still really good. I really loved the whole thing, I think they did a nice job. Then they had people come up and talk, like people who really had kids that died in a car accident because of a drunk driver or something of the like. It was really sad seeing them talking about how they’ll never see their kids again, never see them grow up, have a family, etc. THEN all the ‘dead’ kids from yesterday (after staying overnight at the Hyatt, away from their families) wrote a ‘letter’ home and it was basically a really heartfelt speech from each of them. Basically everyone cried, I think Mikael was the only one who didn’t cry (quite tryin to be all macho) but it was still good. I didn’t start crying till Ally came out with her speech. She was crying so much and it was TOTALLY freakin me out so of course I was crying…it was bad. Not like hysterical or anything, but enough that I didn’t want a camera in my face. Some people were being really immature about the whole thing and like laughing during all the speeches…that pissed me off. And then the punkers and shit were just lying down on the floor and some were kicking around, fidgeting, laughing, etc. I already have ill-will toward them but damn…I had NO patience for anyone doing that kind of shit. Especially them. Blech it just really irritated me how everyone was completely dismissing the whole thing. Hahaha I wasn’t even gonna bring up the Sam thing but since she did… It has nothing to do with jealousy or anything, and I wasn’t the only one taking it seriously. Even Karlyna yesterday said that it wasn’t all that lame, and it wasn’t bad. And for the record, I didn’t just try to get her to join in on bitching at you (which I wasn’t even doing). She’s the one who brought up the perfect posture thing last night online. It wasn’t just me and she joined in later, she was talking about it too. Get the fuck over it. Yes it is about your image, I think you don’t like being seen as even slightly vulnerable, so you hide it, and I don’t care that you weren’t crying or anything--I don’t give a shit about that. But you didn’t have to completely go off on how ghey the whole thing was. Because that makes you just as immature as the fucking punkers and other assholes who were making fun of it. Don’t even fucking start with me, I’m not saying I wasn’t being rude today--I know I was. And I’m sorry (somewhat) but so were you. In case you’ve forgotten you were also giving me shit for taking it seriously. I didn’t take it ‘too seriously’…taking it too seriously would be crying my eyes out yesterday and today and like being devastated like OMG they’re DEAD!!!! ßthat is too seriously. I was just irritated as fuck that you and Theron and some other people were being so immature that you didn’t even let yourselves think that it’s at least a little bit of a cool thing. Not even cool, but good. Honestly wtf is wrong with getting out of class for two days? And it’s not that you don’t agree with me, but it’s that you’re being exactly like the immature asses that I’ve been trying to avoid. Fine, keep your precious image, keep your strength…laugh at the whole thing. I don’t care, I’m just saying those are the kind of people I don’t want to hang out with because it’s IMMATURE. And the funny thing is you got mad at me for ‘bitching at you in front of everyone’ well wtf do you think you were doing?? You were doing the same thing. And in a way yours was worse because you took MY vulnerability and made it into something humorous. That’s fantastic. Applause. You were totally laughing at the fact that I liked the whole simulation and was actually digging it, so HELLO you did the same fucking thing, and made me feel like a total idiot. Whereas all I did was piss you off a little. Thank you by the way. And Karlyna is the one who said your image was your hair and makeup. Thanks for completely disregarding the fact that she was part of it too. She was talking to me yesterday so it wasn’t just totally random. And your image to me isn’t that, it’s your hiding of your emotions, and hiding any sign of vulnerability. It’s what you do. And I’m not patronizing you on it (not trying to) but you can be SUCH a stick in the mud because of it. And she said you were a ‘burnout’ sometimes. So it’s not just me. And it’s true, you won’t do anything that could possibly make you vulnerable and let people oppose you and make you feel stupid for how you feel. It’s just not the way you are, and that’s fine, but don’t fucking do the same thing to me that you are avoiding. Fine, it’s not about your image? Well it’s still immature to just dismiss the whole thing as something lame that our school is doing. At least appreciate that they put a lot of time and effort into this to make it more interesting and have us experience it rather than just tell us ‘derr…don’t drink and drive…uh…’ The people who were making fun of others--yeah that’s way worse. And the heartless bitch comment was a joke!!! Omg dude you totally knew I was joking when I said that! I never actually called you that…in fact I believe YOU called ME the bitch. Whatever I’m sick of wasting my breath on the immature. Yes I’m opinionated but still, it’s annoying to me when people refuse to take it seriously and laugh at it. And it pissed me off when Theron was laughing at it too, but what could I have really said to him? He was being even more immature than you were in fact…I’m just glad I didn’t sit by kenny or jimmy or anyone…I swear to god I would have punched them. Uggh I don’t feel like fighting…I don’t like it…I just have no patience for everyone who was being immature and couldn’t take it for what it was. I thought it was actually a pretty cool deal, but whatever. Enjoy your pedestal. I don’t even want to fucking think about it…just makes me angry… So ANYWAY (after my rant, but I felt the need to at least defend myself)…all the speeches were pretty cool. Eli started crying in his and that got me and Macall instantly…I looked over and she was like really crying. It was so sad, and while Tyler and Jesse SAY they didn’t cry…I know I heard sniffling coming from their side…but after much crying and everyone’s speeches, they released us and we all got a t-shirt. I was a little disappointed that they wouldn’t give us the black version of it, only the dead participants got one of those. But whatever, it’s still cool. Of course Sam and Theron didn’t get one…shocker… Theron so owes me…even though he pissed me off today I totally covered for him in art. I’m glad I went because Gapper took roll and she kept saying if anyone saw him today. And I was like yeah I don’t think he’s here today (because he was of course ditching her class) and she’s like you didn’t see him at the assembly? And I was like…nope…he’s not here. Must be absent. Little bastard owes me. Lol. He said he would have done the same for me, but he’s not that great of a liar…so really he wouldn’t be very good at it even if he did do it for me. He shall owe me in other ways…mwahaha. Bah I’m tired. Thanksgiving should be especially lame this year. I don’t care, I never really liked that holiday that much anyway…and I always thought it was pretty pointless, just something we did. So I’ll sleep or something while dad watches football and mom does whatever she does. I must be off…sleep…I love sleep…and it calls to me… p.s. hey sam I guess this means we aint goin to ventura tomorrow huh? Haha…. p.p.s…I guess I didn’t give just the gist after all. Whoops.