ha. i hope i spelled that right... i'm too lazy to type this in word so that all things are caps, spelled correctly, etc... my blanket. my beautiful wine colored chenille blanket...it's so soft and warm...but one side of the tassles(?) is completely tangled. and these will never be untangled. it's just like a ratted mess of chenille pieces. i'm so sad...(mostly because this was one of the reasons i ditched me old one and got a new one) this is what i get for being so cold last night i decided to have it with me. an extra layer. dammit. lol i'm feeling morose today. not really, i'm kind of conflicted and yet empty at the same time. but morose seems like an appropriate term for my general mood these days. dunno. i'm under so much stress and pressure...most of it is mental i'm sure, like it's only pressure and stressful because i let it be, but either way i'm freakin out. 2 weeks left of school. and i have so much i need to get done. oh god christmas presents. shit shit shit. this is what i get for having more friends this year. now i have a lot of people to buy for. god dammit. that's it, no one is getting anything. maybe sam but that's coz i still have to get her a birthday present. so that shall count as her xmas gift. mwahaha your life sucks for having a birthday in december. oh well, she has yet to get me anything...*snubs* i had a bunch of weird dreams last night. i of course can only remember the most recent one, and even that one is slowly fading away from me. why is it that i can remember my horrible dreams so vividly, yet my good or even just mediocre ones are complete forgotten memories? like so many things in my life...just forgotten memories... sigh..... ~~~~~~~~~~~~for whatshisface~~~~~~~~~~~~ heh so i have a guess at why you might be mad at me. and if this is it...well...then i'm sorry...i rarely brought you up before but now it will be never i guess. only when i needed advice anyway. but ok, i'll stop. and if this IS it...i have some questions...heh... why are you mad at me?? (i don't think you're seriously that mad at me for only this) how much longer will you need space?? what do you even consider space??(this is somewhat of a problem for me because i want to give you the space you claim you need, but it's hard because i sort of gave you space before..i mean i saw you at brunch and after 3rd. that was it. i didnt call or email, so really how much more space can i give you..i wanna fix it tho so i'm asking because i wanna try) and finally...do you still want my trust? i mean if you do then that's great because you have it simply because wanting it is enough. but that is only if you really want it. if you don't want it anymore then i guess it doesn't matter....