someone help me please. i'm awful. and i need to die. he doesn't deserve the shit that i'm likely to put him through...he deserves someone so much better. someone who isn't still carrying a torch for someone else. god this is so complicated. i don't know what would be easier, if he says he has no feelings for me anymore (so i can fully move on to brett and be happy) or if he does still have feelings for me and wants to be with me again. either way someone is going to be hurt. part of me wants him to just say he has no feelings for me, and that's it. i mean then i'd have my closure to move on and i could really be happy with brett. but the rest of me still misses him. and aches for him to love me. oh god i'm wicked. brett doesn't deserve this. but what do i do? do i tell him? maybe i'll feel better tomorrow, or once i speak to him. yeah that usually helps. if i talk to him i tend to feel so much better and remember how much i care about him. oh god i keep crying...what's wrong with me???? *cries self to sleep* not in an emo way. i just need sleep. lots of sleep. i can't stop crying...