Today is the first official day of break. I guess yesterday kinda counted too because school was out…but I didn’t really FEEL it. Today doesn’t feel like it either but oh well. I can’t help but feel almost sad or something…I just feel sad for some reason. It’s not just because of him, to be perfectly honest I’m so infuriated with his recent behavior and immaturity that I find him extremely annoying. Personally I’d rather sit here and enjoy my music than have to deal with him at the moment, I think I just feel lonely…I dunno. I don’t miss him. I miss the person he used to be or maybe just the person I thought he was…I just want to move on with my life and find someone better. But I can’t help but feel I’ll never find that? It’s so sad how proud I am of all my finals scores…but really my grades suck. I’m a great test taker but I am so damn lazy I never do my homework. So I have nothing but B’s and C’s even though I aced all my finals. Oh well, maybe next semester I’ll feel the need to excel or something. As if. This is funny, that song by Greenday just came on… ‘Good Riddance’ and every time it comes on I find it annoying, when I love the song. But my version (not that radio edit) has the very beginning where he attempts the intro twice before actually getting it right. And that redundant sound drives me nuts…so I tend to skip it before it actually gets to the song that I loved…seems to be the story of my life these days. Haha a Greenday song is a metaphor for how I treat my life. Things start out crappy and I skip it before the beauty comes. This means I’m LAZY. Well didn’t we all know that already… 10.11. Joseph is my homie. Joseph is a rabbi I picked up last week. He dances to Hava Nagila. He also comes in key chain form and is on my one key. I have a house key and yet feel the need to have a huge key chain dude on it. So I don’t lose it you see… I had a bunch of weird dreams last night. I always manage to do that…and if I wake up a few times in the middle of the night (like after each dream) then that’s the only way I’ll actually remember them. What I love is my school dreams, they always manage to kinda look like the school…but seem to be a more stretched out version of it. Like the quad is much longer and the cafeteria (not really a cafeteria, it’s all outdoors, it’s just like tables under a roof thingy) is bigger and had many many more carts. Almost in some kind of a blockade formation so I couldn’t get to the one I was looking for. It was bizarre. I always manage to be looking for someone in them too. And of course never find them. Or like I see them and am chasing them but can’t quite reach them. Haha in my dream last night it was the last day of school and I wanted to say goodbye to him before break (oh what a coincidence, that’s exactly what happened yesterday). So I was like following him to his class and tried to get a hold of him but he kept walking so far ahead of me…yep. That tends to be the dream I have. I’m chasing him or looking for him and can’t find him. I remember that I could run really fast though? Haha I remember seeing him up in our area and I was in the cafeteria area (which usually aint that far) and I ran up then all of a sudden he was gone. Thus began my search. I seriously love how the school gets warped in my dreams. It’s all stretched and there is like actual GRASS instead of just construction dirt shit. I miss…. So yeah it be thee wee hours of thee mournin and I must be off to do better things. G'day.