what's happening to us... i mean it was less than a week ago when he was still telling me he loved me...and suddenly we barely even speak? how does this happen in such a small amount of time??? seriously.... -friday he loved me... -saturday he got drunk (AGAIN), and that really upset me... -sunday he came over, and i was really distant because i was mad (but i did tell him why i was mad...so at least i took care of that bad feminine habit) -we still kissed when we were outside waiting for his mom to pick him up...so it wasn't THAT bad...i mean he still knew i cared about him....and that i wasn't honestly that pissed...i was just disappointed -he never called me that night. that hurt like hell.. -monday i don't remember whether or not we spoke, i don't think we did...except when i invited him to go with sam and me to barnes and noble to spend some time together...which was sorta my way of an apology (at first) -then he couldn't go because he was sick -tuesday i called him, didn't answer. -called again, left a message. -as i was drifting off to sleep, he called back. now that actually shocked me. i was truly expecting him to blow me off....but even then we didn't talk much....he had to get stuff together for class....yeah wtf ever. -then he was supposed to call me either between classes or after he got home from class (which is usually 9ish) so naturally at 10.20 when there was still no phonecall of COURSE i was only a wee bit bummed (only a wee bit is sarcastic) -so i tried to go to sleep, after some crying.....heh "some".... -couldn't sleep, so i got up and went online. -i was truly, truly stunned when he messaged me.....and then when i asked, he told me why he hadn't called me, apparently he went to dinner with jesse and emily and heather. meh....*jealousy*...i don't like them....*shakes fist*....(not jesse, he's a dude, and the reason brett and i met. jesse is a-ok) -luckily i didn't say anything about my jealousy, that woulda just caused more problems...but he said he'd call me after i signed off -i waited 10-15 minutes...and still no call. i was like WOW he blew me off?? am i just like the girls who "stalk" him and he says he'll call back but never really does?? what happened??? -so i called him. heh. stupid...Stupid... weak jordan. and he said he was gonna call me in a few minutes. yeah whatever. -we didn't talk much, i apologized though for being bitchy....but did remind him that it was because he really upset me with getting drunk again etc...(but said it in a nice way....you see i wanted him to understand that i don't normally act that way, and i'm a pretty reasonable person...but i didn't want him to think that i fold like house of cards as soon as i see trouble for us. he needs to know i'm still strong, but at the same time am understanding...) -and i have yet to speak to him today. i sincerely, sincerely doubt that he will call me. message me...also doubtful...but i'd rather hear his voice than read his illiteracy. *cough*. i miss him and i'm really sad that we've grown distant in less than a week...i don't know how and can't believe that it's happened so incredibly fast...but i've got a feeling it's going to end...if not now...soon. goodbye love. *sigh* ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ update ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ he messaged me. he's really really sick....so sad....poor guy... let's hope that's the main reason he's been so distant lately, and not because of me or his feelings diminishing or something of the like. i hope he feels better... but i still sense something is off...before he got this sick he was still distant. who knows. i guess we'll see... but at least he messaged me....so improvement? maybe? we hope....