eyy, everything is so confusing. today i went to the guys lax game with ryan. they lost..6 to 12 i do believe was the final score. a lot of the girls lax team was there and we threw around and stuff, coach was proud! lol. after me sunny and ry went to eat at, once again, mac n bobs (only for like the 4th time this weekend). after sunny took me and ry to her house and me her and lindz just hung out. tonight we hung around outside with everyone. everyone being..matt, brooks, marshall, cord, daniel, lance, ry, lindz, maggie r, and maggie p. its really weird, i'm ALWAYS going to have something for matt, everything is just perfect when i am around him, and i know i can never have him back but yet i still hold on. we went out and had a thing or whatever twice and they were both for quite some time. i liked him all along. i still do, but he has a girlfriend and i know nothing is going to happen again so i need to move on. i tell myself i need to but my heart won't. and its feels weird saying that because i am only in 8th grade. but you still feel the same about people when your 13 as you do when your older..just the amount of sex is different. and usually when i am around him i get all depressed and stuff because the worst thing is being friends with someone and knowing you can't have them, but tonight i was cool with it all. like he was even talking about his girlfriend, and of course it hurt, she is my friend, but if hes happy then i shouldn't try to ruin it, he has never done that to me so i shouldn't do it to him. my neck, jaw, and ear fucking hurt like a bitch. tomarrow i am going to a WNL lax game with ry! woot woot. mary T got 2nd in something today in cosmos!! woooo hooo go mary!