Things are really good with my friends. I love them to death!! Kendall, Kristen, Sarah, Emily, and I basically always hang out, and thats fine with me. Its sort of like our 'group' against Cierra and Brittany. We all used to be friends, but they are just a bunch of back-stabbing sluts who are fucking annoying. Ellen and Ryan we love to death, but we just don't hang out with them much. This year is so much different than the last. Last year was horrible, I was like the one person who never had anyone to hang out with or had the best friend. I like Melvin, a lot, a lot. I just can't help it. I would like to not believe what people tell me about how many girls he has hooked up with and how he just plays every one of them because I know its true, too. I've watched it happen. I just want to think that its going to be different. He told his 'sister' that he had feelings for me, but he has never told me that and so I don't want to think anything until I hear it from him. I just don't want to get hurt, I'm afraid of getting hurt. And because of that usually I back away or something, but with him it almost wants me to be near him more and everything. After school we always hold hands and everything like we are dating, but he has NEVER told me he has feelings for me. I just HATE not knowing. It drives me insane. I think I'm going over to his house tomarrow to hang out with his 'sister' since I am friends with her, but also to hang out with him. I think we'll be having a much needed talk about everything. I haven't actually liked someone like this in a long time :] I'm happy, but it also makes me worried how things with turn out in the end since I am so afraid of rejection and getting hurt. I think I am finally learning to take the chance of getting hurt though... Things are pretty good with my horse. I've met a lot of new friends at the barn. Something I sort of need, friends outside of school. Although I love my friends to death, drama does occur and its nice having friends that don't know exactly how your life is and that you can just hang out with. Espically since none of my friends from school really I guess support my riding. I mean they do, but I think they sort of turn it into a joke after awhile. Like just the way they act towards me and going to the barn and everything. They also seem like they think I'm ditching them or something when after school or whenever they ask me to do something and I'm like no I'm going to the barn, they just act like its my fault. Maddie is a fatass whore who wants to roll Sarah tonight since, well I don't even know. But she is, and so Kristen and I are staying at Sarah's and when they come we are going to throw water baloons at them and stuff. It shall be great.