last night sucked major ass. first i couldn't do anything with carlos and them, max and me talked, and now i am more confused than ever. max's exact words were "..yeah when you were at the lacrosse game i was thinking to myself damn why did i break up with her". just to give you an idea of what max is like. he is a dumbass (in a funny way) who does anything that his friends say. he is really nice and sweet until he gets around his friends and then tries to act all bad. when we went out earlier in the year he cheated on me 3 times and then broke up with me. he denied that he cheated on me even though his friends told me thats why he broke up with me. he said sorry and we started hangin out again just as friends. he is the only guy i am myself around. since he is such a retard i can do anything around him. i'm afriad to start anything with him again, though because he may do the same thing again, and a major thing is that my mom hates him. parents have told her about how he smokes and drinks and everything else he does. the mother wasen't too happy i was going out with him. god, then carlos (the mexican, lol). we were "talking" awhile ago and then it just sorta ended.we're planing to start hanging out more, but its sorta hard since he goes to a different school and lives farther away. it sucks. if anything did happen i would worry about him cheating on me too. he did on his last girlfriend and she even went to the same school. i mean he does hang out wtih a different girl every weekend. damnit. then there's ian. he's the one that i would be better with. he talks to me about things and is really nice. he seems like the kind of guy just to hang out, not get all ready to go to the movies or something (which i actually hate). the only thing is he is the oe person that i can't tell him how i feel, i guess about him. its weird, i did it with max, i did it with carlos, but ian is one of my pretty good friends and i duno if i'm afraid of losing him as a friend, or if i just think he doesn't look at me like that and i'm just afraid of rejection. i think its rejection. could this get any more confusing? i think not.