for the first time in 90890346 weekends, i had fun on a sat. night. i went to the movies with kara and her soccer team. kara is a grade below me, but she is really cool. ian was at the mall which was RIGHT next to the movie place, but he was being a dickface and wouldn't walk down there because he didn't want to leave his friends. umm, why they couldn't walk down there, i have no idea. but it really makes me mad that guys try to act "cool" in front of their friends and end up totally pissing all girls off. god, i'm really disappointed i didn't get to see him. honestly i think they were smoking and didn't want me to find out. i really do not care what he does, i just want to see him. kara is spending the night tomarrow night so hopefully we can do something with him. if not i'm gonna be pretty upset. but i obiviously can't get my hopes up that anything is going to happen, i mean he was one minute away from me and wouldn't come see me. part of me wants to be mad at him because he was the one who was sorta mad at me because i wasen't going to hang out with him at the mall because i didn't think i could get a ride. but then i talked to him on the phone and i just can't be mad. and the weird thing is, is that i never see him. i haven't seen him since oct. except in pics and yet i feel like i really like him and want something to happen. i want to tell him more than ever now, but i don't know if i can.