wow..i haven't written in like 3 days. i usually write like 3 times a day. Sunday night there was a TON of family over for a cookout because my cousin and my uncle are in town so. after awhile me and claire (my cuz) went to go hang out with ian, grant, alex, peyton, and will. we started at the bowling alley went to thunder valley and then to the rail road tracks....then me claire and ian went back to the bowling alley. i was soo fucking pissed and he knew it. he kept on just leaving me. so him and his friends were calling me and claire over after they had just ditched us and we just sorta walked past them to go back to the bowling alley and all of ian's friends were saying "ohhhh ian you got her pissed off man" so he followed me and instead of saying whats wrong...he starts pissin me off by saying "whats wrong emo kid...gonna go cut now?" and stuff liek that. i was about to fucking go off on him when he said gonna go cut now. he left..no hug or anything just said bye and walked away. the next day we talked about it sort of but i didn't really go into how he ditches me when he is with his friends and acts like a total shitfuck and stuff like that. monday i went to the lake with sturgill. we went to bridgewater and played in the arcade while the parents drank. went back ate dinner...nothing exciting. got up the next morn and found out that everyone was leaving early so we couldnt get a jet ski...so we ended up goin to the state park beach. it was fun. we got a jet ski and stuff. i got sooooooooooooooo burned though. dude..even my scalp is burned. it sucks. on the way home we went to wendy's and the girl was being a bitch so when we got the food we took out like 3 of amie's chicken nuggets and went in a told them they only gave us 2. it was really funny. oh yeah..me amie and sturgill went back to brigewater and went shopping. in the surf shop...holy fucking shit..there was the 3 hottest guys i have ever seen in my entire life. when i got home i was even more confused about ian. i sorta felt like when we hung out he got annoyed by me and i was really really afraid that when i am gone for like a month he will end up breaking up with me. i was talking to amy about i because sturgill was sleeping. amy and her skinny little ass went and told ian. fucker...i can do these things on my own when i feel like i want to. i mean i guess its kinda stupid that i have to go to my friends first to get their input when they have no reason to be involved with it..but i guess i just have to build some confidence up because im not the type of person to just go say things i feel. (esp since thats how my relationship got ruined with matt). but ian was like dude julia i really really like you and im not gonna break up with you just because you go away for awhile. so everything is all better...because i talked to him about the hanging out thing too. dude..sorry it was such a long entry and i know no ones gonna read it all..but oh well.