even though i say this about every entry, i'm going to say it again. i need new friends. all they are is drama. i've gotten so annoyed by them bitching to me about everything and making fun of me about everything and making my life hell. oh we're best friends with julia, but its okay if we talk shit about her all of the time and make fun of her bad enough that she has cried over it. i have been through so much shit with my friends and we have gotten through it all, but this year i've just been pushed around by them too much. i'm glad they like making my life hell. the only thing good in my life right now is ian. i think about him all of the time and i wish i could see him more often. i hate not being able to tell him how much i like him. he knows i like him some, but i've never told him how much. i guess i don't want to ruin something that i am happy with. he is the only thing i care about in my life, or that is even worth caring about. last night i was on the phone with ian till 1. my dad must have heard me and came up to my room and asked me what i was doing. i threw the phone under the bed and told him i was just watching tv because i couldn't go to bed. if he would have found out i was on the phone i would be grounded for so freaking long. my parents are just gay like that. i have my algebra and science exams tomarrow. i'm not too worried about those two. kind of the science because it is essay form and yeah. i'm really stressing the latin and LA one though. latin i can pretty much tell i am not going to pass. shit, my parents are going to kill me. and i think i'll do ok on the LA. i feel so bad. seely and stuart broke up right after field day. field day me and stuart hung out the entire time and danced together at the dance and stuff. i was just having a good time, not thinking anything of it. yeah, thats basically why he broke up with seely. damn myself. i'm considering asking my parents about going to a different school. but of course i prob won't because then they will want to know why. what am i going to say? i'm sick of my life being a living hell, thought i'd let you know a couple of years after it started happening?