i just talked to my grandma on the phone. she put a huge guilt trip on me. and yeah its working. she said she missed me today. and i said i know and i wanted to go (which isnt a lie...i had no idea they were going until i got home and they were already gone)...and i told her maybe in a couple days. and she was all "well well just have to see what happens in the next couple days"....i know what she meant. she was just sugar coating the whole thing. i feel like the shittyest grand daughter there ever was. i really really really really want to see her now. but im not sure if i will be able to. my brother isnt going to make another special trip over there just for me. i know him better than that. i want to see her before its too late..and im not sure if that can happen. i should have taken the advice that people have been telling me. because yeah im regretting it. im at least glad that i got to talk to her on the phone though. she sounds soo weak. its horrible. i love her soo much. why cant god just let her live some more? its not fair.