in just about 5 hours it will be 2005..thats crazy. i look back, and it seems like just yesturday it was the new years eve for 2004. oh wow..what a night. thats the night i found out about matts death..that night was hell. that truly was the start of a bad year for me. this whole year was hell. well it all started in 2003. i started going out with a world class ass..but i wouldnt know that until about may of this year. it started out good. 2004 started out horrible, but i had no idea at truly how bad it would become. i lost both of my grandmas, i practically lost a best friend, and my best friend moves 4 hours away and never decides to call me. i get cheated on by my now ex boyfriend the whole year, and have to find out by catching him in the shower with the whore of safford becca hernandez...ugh...and on top of all of that, i hurt my family by some of my actions, and i become really depressed. i never thought that i could become depressed until last week. some shit went down, i said stuff i now regret, and my parents took me in to the doctors to get help.i took a survey that said im borderline depressed *he thinks that it has to do with the shit that went down the past four months* im on some meds now that should help with the things that ive been going through. i normally wouldnt be like this if it hadnt be for all of the shit i went through.. i really dont like sharing all of this, but its better than keeping it all in... well now that i think about it, there were some good things that happened this year too.. 1. i mended some friendships that went bad over the past year 2. i fell in love for the first time, even if it was just to get my heart broken, but you know what, i dont regret it, yeah im not going to lie, i was stupid for all the lies that i believed, but the feeling that i had for those months, i wouldnt trade in for anything..but im over it now..heh.*does that make sense? lol 3.i got to get closer to my grandma jackie before she got sick yeah i cant think of many more right now...lol..but ill add some if i can remember them.. oh yeah..theres a someone that i wanna thank for being there for me when i needed to talk the most. that would be daniel. i dont know if you read this anymore, but im truly thankful that i got to know you and that you have been there for me through some of the shit that went on..even though you were just there for me online and through emails, you have no idea how much that meant to me that you cared enough to be there for me when i needed people the most oh and on our late night talks..lol..you are always going to be on my top list of good friends. and id give ya a hug if i could see you. you are awesome :D and then there is that good ole new years resolution..i dont really have one at the moment.lol..ill keep you posted if i can think of one..lol well i dont wanna write a novel or anything, so im going to end here. by the time i update again, it will be 2005..so i just wanted to wish everyone a happy new years and ill see ya in the new year :) tata 2004! Krystal